In this post the last post of our three-part post on Love and Compassion.
In today’s post the ultimate love for your enemy and tips how to cultivate compassion inside you.
The only true love is Compassion for your Enemy
According to Buddhism, the only real love that exists is the love for our enemy. We have no attachment to our enemies. In every other relationship like friendship, having a partner, family there is always bonding. And with attachment always comes expectations and love that asks. This is why this love can hurt us. Can make us suffer.
Love for your Enemy
Love for your enemy is therefore the highest love you can achieve according to Buddhims and also demands the most from us. As an example, there was a Buddhist monk who was imprisoned for decades in prison. Day after day he was tortured and treated unreasonably. This monk practiced the ultimate love by feeling compassion for those who tortured him. It sounds almost unfeasible, but this monk continued. According to him, his only moment of being in danger was the moment at which he almost lost his compassion for the guards. Through the use of compassion, he did not break.
How can you feel Compassion for People who make you suffer?
Unjust things happen in this world. They can make you feel angry, but you can also feel compassion for this person. In the first instance, the anger is there to be seen as something that we can immediately respond to, or read as a reaction from our body to a ‘trigger’. Did you know, for example, that the Dalai Lama has a short temper? He says about it that he says something like ‘buggers’ and then it is over. He has seen and perceived the emotion and then enveloped it with compassion. Compassion for himself.
The danger of anger is that it can become destructive, then you go too far. Then the emotion has become part of you and you can not distance yourself from it or direct your own compassion towards it. Here it often goes wrong. Anger can destroy if we are one with it. You do things that you later regret. Destructive emotions also lower our physical resistance (scientifically proven). You can use the energy to do something good if you are capable of this transformation. It is important to prevent further excesses, to envelop the anger and to take care of the anger that comes to mind. As a mother who cares for her child.
How can we feel Compassion towards our Enemies?
See the person in front of you who is hurting you and then realize that this person is also loved by others. That they also want to be happy. A happy family etcetera. See your enemy as your greatest teacher. These are very powerful teachings.
What else can you do to Cultivate Compassion in yourself?
The Tibetan Buddhists use different mantras that they use for compassion.
There is the Tare mantra. Tara is a goddess who is worshiped to develop, among other things, compassion and loving kindness; ‘To Tare Tuttare Ture Soha’
You can take this mantra into your meditation.
‘Just like me’ Mantra
In addition, there is the mantra ‘Just like me’. If you come into a situation and something touches you in what someone else says, you can repeat ‘just like me’. We all have the same part in us. We all have certain reactions and we come from the same love. Understanding that the other is the same as you can bring you compassion and tranquility.
Set your Intention for the Day
You can also set your intention for the day in the morning. You may want to be friendly to everyone, may want to be aware of your emotions, and not part of it, etcetera. Stay with your intent. If there is a moment of ‘crisis’ in the day or you are triggered, you can always fall back on your intention for the day. It will guide and help you.
Feel Compassion for Yourself
Only when you have developed sufficient compassion for yourself you can carry out compassion towards another person. That is why compassion to ourselves is so important. You are the instrument. Compassion is what you use. And of course also loving kindness. For without love the world would not exist.
Om shanti, shanti, shanti
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